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Coaching Conversation Guide
Prepare the language, evidence, stance, teacher-owned action, and follow-up for a coaching conversation that leads somewhere.
Before the conversation
Decide four things before you begin.
Name the finish line
What should the teacher understand, decide, or be ready to try by the end?
Read the context
What trust, history, emotion, or constraint should shape how you enter the conversation?
Choose a narrow anchor
What observable evidence will keep the conversation focused on instruction and learning?
Choose how to coach
Should you begin facilitative, dialogical, or directive, and what would cause you to shift?
The five-move conversation
Move from connection to a clear next action.
Prepare each move in your usual notes. The language starters are examples, so adapt them to the teacher, the evidence, and your relationship.
Connect and set purpose
Lower uncertainty and show the teacher that the conversation is being built with them, not done to them.
Prepare
Write one opening sentence that acknowledges the teacher’s context and names a useful purpose.
Try this language
You mentioned that student discussion is the priority. Would it be useful if we looked at one pattern and chose a next move together?
Watch for
Do not begin with a judgment, a hidden agenda, or a list of fixes.
Surface the teacher’s thinking
Understand what the teacher notices, values, and believes before choosing a direction.
Prepare
Prepare one open question and one paraphrase that will keep you listening longer than you talk.
Try this language
What are you noticing about how students responded? What feels most important to understand first?
Watch for
Do not turn a question into advice with a question mark at the end.
Focus with evidence
Use a narrow piece of evidence to identify the smallest instructional focus worth pursuing.
Prepare
Select one observable pattern and describe it without evaluation or assumptions about intent.
Try this language
Six of the eight responses repeated the model. What do you notice about the explanations students added?
Watch for
Do not overwhelm the teacher with every data point from the lesson.
Choose the stance and next move
Match your coaching response to the person, the evidence, and the urgency of the instructional need.
Prepare
Choose a facilitative, dialogical, or directive stance, then decide whether to question, model, rehearse, plan, or provide a resource.
Try this language
I have one possible move we could examine. Would you rather look at an example first or rehearse how it might sound?
Watch for
Do not default to the same coaching stance in every conversation.
Close the loop
Turn a productive discussion into a teacher-owned action and a clear plan for support.
Prepare
Name the teacher action, coach support, evidence to revisit, and follow-up date.
Try this language
What will you try, what support would help, and what evidence should we look at together on Friday?
Watch for
Do not end with encouragement alone. Confirm what happens next.
Choose your stance
Good coaches do not use the same stance every time.
Begin with the least directive stance that can still move the work forward. Shift when evidence, urgency, or the teacher’s needs call for a different response.
Facilitative
Use when the teacher has useful knowledge, ownership, and room to generate the next move. Coach move: Ask, paraphrase, summarize, and help the teacher examine evidence. Risk: Too little direction can leave the conversation thoughtful but unresolved.
Dialogical
Use when coach and teacher both bring knowledge that should shape the decision. Coach move: Balance inquiry with advocacy, compare options, and decide together. Risk: The coach can quietly dominate while presenting the exchange as collaborative.
Directive
Use when clarity, safety, urgency, or missing knowledge calls for explicit guidance. Coach move: Name the rationale, model the practice, provide a worked example, and check understanding. Risk: Direction without trust or explanation can reduce ownership and increase resistance.
Close with a usable commitment
Build the next-action sentence.
We will [teacher move] during [lesson moment]. The coach will [support]. We will review [evidence] on [date].
Ask the teacher to state the commitment in their own words before the conversation ends.
Worked example
From discussion goal to rehearsal.
- Connect: Name the teacher’s goal of stronger independent discussion.
- Surface thinking: Ask what the teacher notices about who participates and how students build on ideas.
- Focus: Review one pattern showing that students repeat the model without explaining their reasoning.
- Choose the move: Use a dialogical stance to compare options, then rehearse response stems and wait time.
- Close: The teacher will use the revised launch tomorrow, and coach and teacher will review participation evidence on Friday.
Connect to the book
The guide gives you structure. The book builds your judgment.
The full framework connects this conversation sequence to Active Listening, Soliciting Feedback, Having Critical Conversations, Providing Feedback, and Tips 16-20 on observation, coaching cycles, rehearsal, instructional focus, and coaching styles.
Use this with your team
Turn the guide into a shared coaching routine.
Dr. Matt Rhoads consults with school district leaders and instructional coaches to build practical coaching routines, professional learning, and measurable next steps.
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